I came home to visit my family this week because a childhood friend died. Last night, my mom and I finally had a heart-to-heart about some of the stuff I've blogged about that has been bothering me for some time. We finally agreed to talk to each other about things that the other does that upsets us.
We have agreed upon two rules that have worked well for me in many other instances:
- 3-day rule: If something upsets you, sleep and think on it for 3 days. If you're still as upset about it after 3 days, address it.
- Only I statements: It's conflict resolution 101 to only use I statements when you are trying to tell someone they upset you or hurt your feelings. Instead of "You did xyz" it's better to say "I felt ___ when you did ___." It comes across much less accusatory when you begin with an I statement and is far less likely to make the other person become defensive or feel attacked.
Updates to come on how well this works for us. In the meantime, if anyone has to confront someone about their behavior, I highly recommend using those two methods.
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